Julie Rogers 0:03

No one ever said life is easy, but I believe by giving yourself permission, you will find you have more control over your life than you realize. I'm Julie. I hope you will join me by taking responsibility for yourself, by only controlling the things you can and letting go of the things that you can't. By doing this, you will have discovered the secret to having happy, healthy, and more fulfilling relationships. This episode is very near and dear to my heart. This is my second year joining Podcasthon. For those of you who don't know, Podcasthon is the first charity event uniting podcasters worldwide. Podcasthon started in 2023 with 300 French-speaking podcasters. It grew to over 400 in 2024. Their dream to see Podcasthon become a global tradition, uniting thousands of podcasters in dozens of languages each year. Quote "We believe that podcasting for good should be more than a buzzword. It should be a movement. By leveraging technology, storytelling, and community engagement, we hope to inspire millions of listeners to care, to act, and to make a difference, one podcast at a time. End quote. Last year, over 1,500 different podcasts from over 40 plus countries has grown tremendously for this third year, with now over 2,500 podcasts from over 65 countries. The proof that one podcast joining and then another one and another one turns into a truly inspiring event. My nonprofit this year is the Kevin Guest House. It is America's first independent health care hospitality house. For over 50 years, they have provided a comfortable and supportive home away from home for patients and families traveling to receive state-of-the-art health care in Buffalo, New York. Founded in 1972 by Cy and Claudia Garvey from Sharon, Pennsylvania, in honor of their son Kevin, who sadly lost his battle with leukemia. Kevin Guest House is the inspiration for the first Ronald McDonald House in Philadelphia, and more than 600 similar houses across the country and worldwide. More than 67,000 guests have stayed there since its inception, mostly originating from western New York and the southern tier, but also including guests from 49 states, Canada, and 11 other countries. Patients and their families are welcome regardless of age, medical condition, or health care provider. Kevin was 13 years old when he was diagnosed. He was the second youngest of eight siblings. Traveling from Pennsylvania to New York was about a three-hour drive each way for Kevin to receive his specialized treatment. He was given the nickname Heart after a family vacation because of his kind-hearted nature. His mother Claudia has said, quote, "in the eighteen months that Kevin lived with his illness that finally conquered even his stout heart, he served constantly as a model and an example for all of us." End quote. His parents continued their work to honor Kevin's legacy and opened the first house to its first guest on July 26, 1972, with the support from then Roswell Park Memorial Hospital, so that future generations of patients and caregivers could focus on their health and worry less about the financial burdens that accompany life-threatening illnesses away from home. When my niece Amanda was transported by ambulance one very late night in July 2025, from our local hospital in Watertown to reach Roswell Park Comprehensive Cancer Center, our family was worried that she would be receiving a life changing diagnosis. The drive from Watertown to Buffalo is about a four-hour drive each way, depending on traffic and weather. Her husband Raul was deployed to the Middle East at that time. He is stationed at Fort Drum. My sister Jill and I also drove that night to be there for her. Our sister Jojo, my niece's mom, had passed away in 2022. And Amanda's dad lives in England. The Garveys became aware of how many other families traveling for care who were unable to find affordable lodging, some even sleeping in their cars. They knew they needed to help. This is why they lovingly founded the house as that lasting tribute to Kevin. The campus is made up of four properties. The main original Blue House has 10 guest rooms, which can host 20 individuals. The carriage house and yellow brick buildings house four transplant recovery apartments. The fourth, newly opened Roswell Salvador Hospitality House has four large family suites that accommodate up to six guests each and two additional transplant recovery apartments. The cost that is recommended for guests is a $35 lodging donation per night for those staying in a guest room, $50 per night for guests staying in a suite with a private bathroom, and $65 per night for those looking to stay in one of their apartments with a private bath and kitchen. No guest is ever turned away because of their inability to afford the suggested lodging donation. They are committed to hosting any guest they can accommodate regardless of their ability to pay. The atmosphere of caring in hospitality allows families to focus on their loved ones without the stress of finding temporary, affordable accommodations. My family has experienced just how much the Kevin Guest House has left a huge impact on us. My sister Jill was given a list of lodging near the hospital. We were figuring out where to stay for the next week or so from the moment Jill dialed the number to speak with someone about the availability to stay at the main house and how gracious Jeff Clark, the house manager, was, to immediately offer us a room and a place to park our cars with full use of the kitchen was a lifesaver. Another plus was how close we were. It was summer, so the less than five-minute walk was easy to do. I really enjoyed the walk to and from every day and night while we were there. The landscaping of the properties that were adjacent to the blue house and the other properties were filled with hydrangeas that just happened to be my favorite flower. A beautiful porch to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee and breathe in some fresh air was like sitting at home. Through the assistance of the hospital staff, including Dr. Wang, who is Amanda's oncology doctor, she is the chief of the leukemia service and professor of oncology at Roswell. Along with the Red Cross, Amanda's husband, Raul, was able to fly home from his deployment. The family was so relieved and grateful that the Army made that happen for them both. Jeff also navigated the accommodations to move Jill and I next door to one of the apartments in the Russell Salvatore Hospitality House. Jeff was preparing for the arrival of Raul and wanted to make sure we had more space and privacy for him. Again, we were blown away by the genuine compassion and support that the entire staff and volunteers who dedicate their time to running efficient lodging. It takes a team to do so. Housekeeping, maintenance, lawn care, guest and office support, dinner volunteers, gardening, and much more. Amanda is almost at the end of her treatment. This winter has been more challenging with the bad weather Buffalo gets and the North Country. Knowing that Kevin Guesthouse is here for Amanda and Raul is priceless. We cannot express how much peace of mind that gives our family. Thank you to all the wonderful staff and volunteers. You are the epitome of hospitality. My family has witnessed why Kevin Guesthouse is the perfect example of why Buffalo is called the city of good neighbors. I had a chat with both Amanda and Raul recently. They were happy to share how much the Kevin Guest House has meant to them. So keep listening. We're not done yet. I will be sharing some links under my show notes if you would like to check out the Kevin Guest House website for more information. Along with Podcasthon, the catalyst that inspired me to do this special episode. Also, I will be sharing some links from Amanda and Raul. Inspirations that have guided them on this journey. This is Nearest and Dearest Podcast. I'm Julie Rogers, and you are listening to season five, episode three, podcasthon, plus Kevin Guest house equals community awareness. Thank you to my beautiful niece Amanda and her handsome husband Raul for being my special guests today. Welcome you guys!

Amanda 12:38

Hi Aunt Julie!

Raul 12:40

Hi Aunt Julie. How are you?

Amanda 12:41

Happy to be here.

Julie Rogers 12:42

I'm so happy you guys are here. I just want to say how much I appreciate you both sharing your journey with how the Kevin Guest House came into your lives and how thankful and grateful myself and our family is to have such a safe place that is welcoming and compassionate to all of us, right?

Amanda 13:06

Absolutely. They really have been.

Julie Rogers 13:09

Amanda, let's start with you. Can you please share what your diagnosis is?

Amanda 13:16

Yes, it's acute myeloid leukemia, also known as AML, which is an aggressive cancer of the bone and the blood and the bone marrow.

Julie Rogers 13:29

Yeah. And that journey pretty much started this past summer, correct? Of 2025.

Amanda 13:35

It did. July 24th, I was diagnosed.

Julie Rogers 13:39

And I just have to tell, well, you know how I feel about your mindset, but I just want to share with my audience that you have such a beautiful positive mindset, even before all of this happened to you. In fact, you studied to become a certified spiritual life coach that you completed right before your diagnosis, right?

Amanda 14:02

I did.

Julie Rogers 14:03

What an amazing gift that you gave to yourself for that, for just life in general, right? To have a positive mindset and spiritual one. So here's my question for you. How has your intentional path towards a healthy mindset prepared you for this, for the really the hardest challenge in your life?

Amanda 14:28

Yeah. It's kind of crazy because when I was first told my diagnosis, I almost forgot everything I learned and worked so hard on. I felt like numb and scared, like my nervous system just kind of went into shock. Um, and I remember getting up and walking into the bathroom in my hospital room and locking the door just to have a few minutes to myself. And while I was in there, I just really remembered something important that it's okay to feel these feelings or to even feel nothing at all. Um, so you know, I I took a few deep intentional breaths and reminded myself that it's it's okay to feel these feelings and you know, just take these breaths and calm my nervous system and calm myself down and let myself know that I I am safe. I'm safe here. You know, it's a diagnosis, it's you know, not a death sentence per se. It's just a diagnosis. And that's something I I return to often throughout this journey when I feel scared, anxious, and overwhelmed. And what it's really given me is wasn't the ability to avoid hard emotions, but to move through them, to pause, be present and grounded, and choose how I respond instead of being completely consumed by fear.

Julie Rogers 15:53

Wow, that's that's amazing. And and and everything you just said really resonates with a lot of people that have gone through some trauma and some hard times that they're like feeling like they have no control or they feel like they have to have all the answers right at that moment. But having breath first, right?

Amanda 16:12

Absolutely, yeah.

Julie Rogers 16:14

And then once you do that, you can say, yes, this is a moment. This is yes, it's a diagnosis, but it isn't a death sentence, and there's going to be a path forward. I I just love how you were able to do that. And uh it was just it's just so inspiring, Amanda.

Amanda 16:31

Oh, well, thank you. It's really hard because you know, that diagnosis, it's like it's scary, even when you realize like it's this is a diagnosis and there is a path forward, it's very scary because you know you you just you don't know what to come. But taking those deep breaths and always keeping yourself grounded and not letting yourself be consumed by the fear of it is what's really important there. And that that breath work and um those deep breaths and meditation and all of that stuff that can really make you grounded and and calm your nervous system down. That's the biggest thing, right? Is just calming your nervous system down and just taking a few deep intentional breaths can really tell you it resets your nervous system. It lets you know, like, okay, I am safe, you know, I'm safe here, and that's it's huge.

Julie Rogers 17:21

Yeah, I mean it really brings you to be present, right? Because you're our yeah, our mind just takes us to all these unknowns, which is very, very scary, especially after such a heavy diagnosis. Which leads me to my question for you, Raul. You know, first of all, thank you for your service. You are in the military presently and are stationed at at Fort Drum, which is home to what division, Raul?

Raul 17:52

10th Mountain Division.

Julie Rogers 17:53

Right, the 10th Mountain Division as an infantryman, correct? Yeah. So first I want to say, thank God that the Red Cross was able to get you home from your deployment so you could be here for Amanda. Like pretty quickly they did that, didn't they?

Raul 18:11

Yes.

Julie Rogers 18:11

So so thank you for your service, Raul. And also, you have a positive mindset, which which is so inspiring as well, that you take in your life even before all of this happened with Amanda. I believe that having a positive mindset is deliberate and it's a conscious choice to embrace. Of course, it can be difficult, such as you watching Amanda go through this very aggressive chemotherapy. But can you please share how you keep yourself grounded?

Raul 18:48

In the six the six weeks that Amanda was in her induction, I had spent most of my time doing physical fitness. That's really what kept me grounded. I was I was running a lot, especially since it was still towards the end of the summer. And once we got into the consolidation chemotherapy phase, and then of course you had winter that came in. I wasn't able to run as much, but pretty much just lifting weights and meditation is what kept me grounded.

Julie Rogers 19:14

That is amazing. So yeah, because you know, the running and being physically fit, you know, because that's that takes a lot of effort and a lot of work to do that. Yeah. And then, like you said, you know, the summer so was nice. And being in Buffalo at that time was nice. There was you could still go and do your running in the morning to start your day, right?

Raul 19:38

Oh, yeah. There's a lot of a lot of places to run in there.

Julie Rogers 19:41

Awesome. And then, like you said, you know, using mindful techniques, you know, when things feel spiraling out of control helps keep you grounded.

Raul 19:52

Yep.

Julie Rogers 19:52

Can you please share how the Kevin Guest house has helped you be able to stay in Buffalo while Amanda has been getting her treatments for all of these months?

Raul 20:03

The Kevin Guest house has been really flexible and accommodating. Like I like all of the whole staff and their there's Tamika, who's one of the housekeepers. We have Jeff and Jim. Like they're all really welcoming when I first walked when I when I first came in there. And like it does feel like a second home to me. I was telling Amanda that's it's like a second home to me, because of course I came from deployment and stayed the first week in the hospital over and then eventually started staying in the guest house. So the Kevin guest house feels like a second home to me. I do truly feel that after Amanda's treatment, I'm still gonna remain friends with those people that are.

Julie Rogers 20:41

Wow. I can understand that, and that's inspiring as well because that just shows you the level of care and compassion that they give families that are dealing with like the hardest struggles in their life. Because it's yes, it's it's affecting Amanda, but it affects you as her spouse to worry about her and to know that you have a safe place to go, lay your head down, give you meals to check in with you, make sure how you're doing. I mean, especially for you, Raul, because like you said, you were in you were still, you know, on your deployment. You came back early from that. And you didn't even get a chance to take that breath to say, okay, I'm home, and getting even acclimated back to what the civilian life is, right?

Raul 21:27

Yeah, no, it was it was definitely a lot because we sort of survived a 12-day war that was going on, and like two weeks later, this like I got the news that Amanda had like acute myeloid, so it it was a lot to adjust for sure. It was it was definitely taxing on the mind.

Julie Rogers 21:43

Well, I've just got to say, and I know I'm a little biased because I'm your guys' aunt, but you have done a beautiful job showing your your support and love for each other through these very trying times. So I just have to, you know, if I'm I'm sending you both big hugs because I'm still amazed at how you both are just so full of light and positivity and know that this, you know, one day at a time attitude. So I just I just want to say that to both of you.

Amanda 22:17

Thank you. It's definitely been hard. But you know, even with the meditation and the exercise and the, you know, it's really uh takes a community and our family and friends as well as the guest house have just, you know, I don't think we could have gotten through um this the way that we have without all of that.

Julie Rogers 22:36

Definitely, yes. We're, you know, as my listeners know before, you know, we have a very close-knit family in New York, which also goes to down to the Carolinas, to Wisconsin. I mean, we're all we're all over the place. And Raul, your family's in Texas, but they're still and and they still showed the love and support for both of you, as well as your father, Amanda, who's in England. So it's nice to know that you have that such a big close-knit family that that cares about you and Raul.

Amanda 23:08

Yeah, I agree. Definitely.

Julie Rogers 23:09

We are very blessed. So, Amanda, I want to share, if it's okay with you, a passage that you put on Facebook this past January uh from the book Detoxify. Is that okay? Okay, so quote You have lived through chapters you were certain would be the last moments that fell endless, heavy, unforgiving. There were days you held yourself together with nothing but hope and quiet determination. Nights you never thought you would outlast. You're still standing, still breathing, still becoming. End of quote. And then you wrote Amanda quote. The line still becoming really feels like it belongs to me right now. I'm not done. I'm not frozen in this chapter. I'm in motion, maybe slower, maybe softer, but absolutely moving. End quote. I mean, I have goosebumps rereading that because when I read that, I was just so impressed with your vulnerability first that you were willing to put that out there. And how inspiring. I mean, your gentleness with yourself and how you are navigating this is just I mean, I just know that your mama and grandma and every any one of our relatives that have passed over are just our guardian angels, and especially for you right now that are help seeing you through all of this. So that's all I could think of was when I read that. Tell me, even before all of this diagnosis, but how does connecting with nature help guide you through your life?

Amanda 25:07

Nature is so healing. Uh, the sounds, the smells, the beauty, just like waking up in the morning and just um, even in the winter, if it's too cold to go outside, just sitting in your window or opening your front door and letting the sun come in on your face for a few minutes. Um is, you know, it's just and just seeing the beauty in every living thing out there. It reminds me that life is always moving and always renewing itself. And nothing in life stays frozen. I mean, I think that perspective really helps me be gentler with myself.

Julie Rogers 25:42

Oh, absolutely. And that just made me think of when you're when Aunt Jill and I were staying with you until Raul got there and we would take that little walk, it's a couple of blocks to to the cancer treatment hospital. Remember the snail? Remember the snail that Aunt Jill and I saw? And I'm like, I literally we saw them twice. We saw them in front of when we were staying in the Kevin Guest house, and then one on the sidewalk going, and it just instantly, I mean, I was so excited. I took that picture, and I'm like, because tell if you don't mind, share that connection about snails with you and Raul. Like, I thought it was just by paying attention to this tiny little snail and how much joy that that brought.

Amanda 26:28

Raul kind of uh accumulated some pet snails, and we've had them for about two years now, I believe. Um and yeah, they're just they're so cute. And I know a lot of people are like, well, why do you have pet snails? But you know what? They're really cute, and we just really enjoy like watching them move about and eat. And uh I don't know, it's just they're really cute.

Julie Rogers 26:53

They are, and at that moment, because Raul, we were, you know, Red Cross trying to, you know, the hospital trying to get, you know, the social worker to get him home as fast as he could, but it was almost like a little gift, like, okay, here's a little snail, here's a little connection. Like when you can take a little connection like that, it just brings so much joy. And I, you know, I just wanted to share that because when you were saying that about the little things, and I'm like, it just instantly reminded me of the snails, the snails that we saw, which I to this day, and I'm 60 years old, I've never seen a snail like that just coming out of nowhere, just crossing that little, you know, the sidewalk. And I happened to see it. I think Aunt Jill saw it too, or one of us saw it first. I can't remember, but it doesn't matter. We were just like embracing it, and I just, I don't know. I just and they are super cute.

Amanda 27:49

They are, and little signs just present themselves to you throughout life. So it was it was really cool.

Julie Rogers 27:56

It it really was because there's always the signs we just have to pay attention. So, Raul, it's really the same question for you because I know how much you connect with nature, but how does it help guide you in your daily life?

Raul 28:11

Obviously, nature is beautiful, but it's also super gentle and calm, but it's really aggressive when it needs to be, and I really like to mirror the resilience of trees that don't get destroyed by the wind and lightning. Yes, and even when they do catch fire, when they do catch fire, like they come back bigger and stronger. And it's just part of the natural cycle. So, in the sense I like to kind of like mirror off that and in the sense they're getting burnt doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing, it's just meant to strengthen you. Obviously, not literal literally, but for humans, you know, but when life comes at you, sometimes it's just meant to m make you stronger. So I like to just really mirror off what nature does. And I think if people did mirror off nature, there'd be probably less suicides and less depression. We're meant to we're actually meant to suffer. But that's just my like my belief, obviously.

Julie Rogers 29:08

No, I and I can understand that, and you're right about suffering because through suffering we see how resilient we are, right? How strong we are, how we can be a become even a better version of ourselves figuratively and and you know, what's the other way? Literally, you know, be because we we are always changing. And I love about trees. I love trees myself, Raul, and it's interesting how you say that because trees are deep-rooted, right? They're they're strong. And yes, maybe part of the branches are falling, or you know, they break off, but new growth comes, or some of it catches fire, but it's still standing. There's something to be said about that, and you're right, if humans would mirror that, what nature does and how resilient nature comes back. I mean, it comes back, and sometimes, you know, and as humans, we have to be conscious of that and respect nature. Everything is here for a reason, and we can learn so much about the resilience of it. So I I totally can understand your your take on that, definitely. Well, I mean, is there anything else either one of you would like to share or or say uh before before I let you both go?

Amanda 30:31

I hope that if anybody else is struggling out there, that they know that it's okay to cry, it's okay to have um any feelings or emotions that you do, but just remember that you can um sit down and and regulate your nervous system and and it's gonna be okay. Um, and to lean on your family for support and your friends or um even your pets, because you know they've brought me a lot of joy. And and don't be afraid to utilize help that's out there, whether that's um, you know, people making meals for you or places like the Kevin Guest House, you know, that are there for you. That's what those things are there for. They're there to to help you. And honestly, I I really can't recommend the Kevin Guest House enough. I haven't met the staff personally myself, but I did have the pleasure of staying there one night with Raul when I went out for a bone marrow biopsy. And it's just so cozy and warm and inviting. And every single time we come home and Raul has stayed there, he talks so highly of the whole place and the staff and everything. So um definitely utilize those places that are available to you.

Julie Rogers 31:53

Yes, because you know it takes the community. I mean, you don't have to suffer alone, or you can let your community help you get through these hard times in life. You know, it's okay to ask for that help and support because sometimes when we don't and we think we're we're suffering by ourselves, it can be so lonely. It could be extra hard.

Amanda 32:17

Absolutely.

Julie Rogers 32:19

And it's okay to feel like how am I going to get through this? But like you said, Amanda, it's through your your family and it's through your friends and your community and places like the Kevin Guest House that show you that let us help you, let us help you get to where you need to be.

Amanda 32:36

Absolutely. And just always remember that you can just even take a few deep breaths and just regulate your nervous system. And you know, um, sometimes that takes practice. It really does. I mean, oh, exactly. You really have to, you know, you have to remind your nervous system that you're safe and and but you you do have the capabilities of utilizing those tools that are self uh like implemented in us already, you know.

Julie Rogers 33:05

Oh, absolutely. We'll be back April 30th, and I can't wait to see you both. So..

Amanda 33:11

Well we can't wait to see you either, and thank you for letting us explain uh our situation and what we've been going through and be vulnerable, but it makes it easier because you're such a good listener and a support system, so and make sure to give Woody our love.

Julie Rogers 33:28

All right, love you both. Love, love, love you, Raul.

Amanda 33:32

Love you

Raul 33:32

Love you too Aunt Julie.

Julie Rogers 33:35

All right, thanks, guys. Alrighty. Bye-bye. The views and opinions expressed by Nearest and Dearest Podcast are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Nearest and Dearest Podcast. Any content provided by Julie Rogers or any other authors are of their opinion. They are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual, or anyone or anything. Thank you.