Julie Rogers 0:06

No one ever said life is easy, but I believe by giving yourself permission, you will find you have more control over your life than you realize. I'm Julie. I hope you will join me by taking responsibility for yourself, by only controlling the things you can and letting go of the things that you can't. By doing this, you will have discovered the secret to having happy, healthy, and more fulfilling relationships. Amy and I met on a Facebook private support group called Dementia Caregivers back in late 2022. Because my family lost our beautiful mom to Alzheimer's in 2019, and my volunteer and advocacy work I do for my community, I wanted to share some of my personal experiences. Amy's beautiful mom was battling dementia in real time. We connected using Facebook Messenger. That's how Amy knew about my podcast, and she shared with me how she is a stand-up comedian. Welcome, Amy. Thank you for taking some time today to chat with me.

Amy Oppy 1:46

Well, it's absolutely my pleasure to be here today. And I hope that um the audience can pull something from my strengths and my uh and and my trial and error of a lifestyle. I live near Austin, Texas. Well, actually, between San Antonio and Austin, it's called Spring Branch. And uh we're already experiencing near 100 degrees, and you're in in the the first uh, well, actually the last week of February was probably the hottest February we've had in years. So here we are.

Julie Rogers 2:18

As the title suggests, you know, I I have you as a caregiver, a survivor, and a comedian. So let's start with your journey as being a caregiver. As I mentioned, you know, both of us lost our beautiful moms to dementia. Can you please share what was the hardest struggle you had with your mom as a caregiver?

Amy Oppy 2:42

Well, gosh, there were a lot of difficulties, but the um accidental caregiver is more appropriate in this case because in 2016, um, my mother and I had a lot of communication going on by phone on a regular basis. And I had been made aware that the people uh around her, which was my sister and my niece and my very busy other sister, and they just had their life and they weren't seeing my mother's deterioration. So she wasn't getting her medications on time and whatnot. So my younger sister uh she volunteered to bring my mother to Texas from Virginia, and I thought I didn't know her condition as well as they did, I guess, but you know, she came here and I don't regret it. But yet she wasn't the dance partner and the, you know, and the and the cook alongside of me and my kitchen mother that I kind of had visualized when we made the commitment. But yet she was the person that had mild dementia and she also had anal cancer, unbeknownst to us. So our journey began uh in the uh Dementia Avenue uh uh where they some of the doctors were even proclaiming early onset Alzheimer's after the surgery of having uh a colostomy of stoma installed in her in uh 2016 at the end of the year. And so my uh my mother's older sister was um very close to her, and she flew to Texas and um happily attended the uh, you know, when we she had the surgery, and both of us were shocked. My mother woke up not knowing who we were. It took some time, she did regain some of that back, and you know, and she could still conversate for a few years, but she almost immediately couldn't walk anymore. You know, and so uh and she wasn't accepting of that. She was just my mother never found anything but joy in everything she did. So, you know, that's how you put the word survivor in my title, because you know, I've had a let's say drastic life where I've done everything to the fullest, including over the without getting off track here. My mother ended up in four different nursing homes in a in a 40-mile radius around here, and three of the nursing homes kicked me out. That's horrible. Therefore, I had to find her a new nursing home. And the reasons why they kicked me out were not really being kicked out. It was like, oh, the information that your legal camera has, we don't need that because we might lose our, you know, we might be in trouble for being awful at our job. So, you know, let's attack the personality of the person with the history. And so basically,

Julie Rogers 5:26

Hold on for a second, so basically they're saying we're not going to be transparent, and they're scared of that because you had that legal camera in there holding them accountable. Okay.

Amy Oppy 5:35

There was no accountability when they could attack my character much easier. And so the first trespassing warning really took took a lot out of me because uh it was the most highly recommended local place that was new, and the local paper had it as number one. And uh my mother actually, and this is this is uh a little difficult material, but the first thing that happened on camera that I had to address with the law that made me out of favor with that first nursing home was my mother was being molested by another uh dementia patient on her wheelchair. He just wheeled in and just grabbed both, you know, her top and bottom parts and was groping on her. And I kept, you know, the first time it wasn't in real time, I didn't see it. And so I stayed steady on the, you know, and and I'm like calling. They said it wasn't happening. And then the next day it happened, uh, I saw it in real time and I called 911.

Julie Rogers 6:31

Oh my oh my goodness. Absolutely.

Amy Oppy 6:33

Because the staff was not keeping the man out of my mom's room. And uh I asked the local police not to uh go in the room, and of course they did by the time I got there, and so it I was very upset. So I I kind of looked like a crazy person a minute for a minute, but my very close friend came and you know, and anybody would act the way I did, driving as fast as they could to save their mother from being molested. You know, but but anyway, so they certainly had um a lot of reason to put a trespassing warning if I came in the building again. While we're looking for a place to put her, because she's on full Medicaid and all, uh I'm not gonna give draw out these stories how all three of these things happened, but one hitchhiked onto the other. Okay because it's a small town here. And uh but the good thing is is that the New Braunfels police remember me because of my name, Amy Oppy. I'm a little weird, a little different, but I speak my mind, never have done anything else. My mother taught me that, she was the same way. Although my mother would never debate or put in my mother was a lot softer and she looked the yeah. But but for me, I was put in this position to protect my mother's life and I'd do anything I needed to do. And I had done nothing wrong, nothing illegal, nothing at all. And specifically, I was, you know, trespassed out of the first place, and um we rented the the wheelchair van and we brought her to uh near where I live now, which was 45 minutes away from my house. Yeah. And when we were there, I was told that first day I know what happened and why you're here, and watch yourself by the director. Who later on ended up also doing a trespassing warning on me about a year later, after my mother's colosomy bag was being neglected, I called uh the the nurse's station to tell them, hey, you know, she's about to pull it off, you know, I'm watching I'm bringing her laundry in. So they knew I was showing up. So uh the police were waiting for me, and they were told I already trespassed, but I had never been told not to go there. And then when the director was laughing, after when they took me out front, left my chihuahuas in my mom's room, zip tied me, took me up the hallway to the front, and uh then they saw the director laughing out the front window, and they go, What's really happening here? But you know, like I said, the details are awful, it'll make me cry. But um, you know, following that, the police gave my dogs back. I went back home. Three hours later I said, Hey, no one's gone in my room to protect my mom. And by then she had taken her own colostomy bag off.

Julie Rogers 9:12

It was and thats horrific.

Amy Oppy 9:14

I used to keep the videos of how they cussed while they had to clean that mess up that night, knowing I was watching. You know, had the videos. I had to get rid of all the videos just to keep my sanity because I don't believe that we should live in negativity. And all of the things that those people did, you know, and got away with, and it was all erased by how horrible it got during COVID. So I don't even want to talk about that time. But that was the Yeah. But we got to this the third place and she stayed there during COVID. Okay. And uh I had met you after COVID.

Julie Rogers 9:49

Yes.

Amy Oppy 9:49

And by the time I had met you is when she was in the most stable, the most wonderful, the most loving place, of which I prefer to speak about. Because when she did pass away, all of the things that happened and all of the things I did to stand up for her and everything that no lawyer of multiple lawyers I'd plea with to try to help me, you know, to try to stop these things, and you know, and the only people that I really could be friend with was the local police. Because they were like, we don't know. I guess you can be trespassed when you're the power of attorney for your own mother. My mother passed away September 2024, and as you know, you and I have been in contact on and off for the four years we met.

Julie Rogers 10:30

Yes.

Amy Oppy 10:30

And I've tried my I've kept myself and my chin above water by doing comedy, by by saying the weirdest things to myself, you know, like I'd do it all over again. I would. You know, I might have uh I might have always had a witness with me instead with anything I did, that would be what I'd do different. But what I learned the most is that my mother knew that there was nothing that was gonna hurt her. There was no one, you know, any kind of discomfort she had or anything going on wrong with her was always gonna be temporary. Because I was there with her to the end, and I can proudly say she got ten years younger in death, all her wrinkles went away. I watched it, she smiled at death because what ended up happening is she ended up choking terribly bad, and it there was nothing they could do, you know, because she was a DNR by then, and she had she had really been diagnosed for 10 years about, just close to very close to 10 years of dementia and then the onset Alzheimer's.

Julie Rogers 11:34

Oh, Amy.

Amy Oppy 11:37

So anyway, it was from 2020 2016 to 2024, I took care of my mom.

Julie Rogers 11:44

Yes. Well, you were her angel, and I I know how difficult that must have been, like you said, to be an accidental caregiver, because nobody signs up to say, yes, I'm gonna be our parents' caregivers, but as we see, as this generation is growing older, uh, that that's exactly what starts to happen. And with dementia, I mean, it it happens in more our parents more often than not, unfortunately.

Amy Oppy 12:13

There is not one person listening here that has not that if you have a loved one with dementia or Alzheimer's, that you do not sit next to that person wondering if it's you next.

Julie Rogers 12:23

Yes.

Amy Oppy 12:23

And that's what that's where the negativity can really fall. That's where the energy can be drained. Because you know what? That's where you're not living right. Because that's why I do everything I can. My husband works in the oil field, he's gone for weeks at a time. It's there's ups and downs. Um, he had a a near-death um uh experience out there, and we're and we've not had any rev resolutions on it. But my husband's been supportive. Well, it will be soon. They're about in deposition, but he was completely in the right at you know, in a head-on collision out in New Mexico, which has different laws, but but it's not he still my husband is the most stand-up person in the world. His mother passed a month and a half before my mother, but she hadn't been ill, but like a few months. But I think that the best thing that happened to my mother is that when she did pass, and when I did all I did, and I do it again, I'm not thinking about rewards in the future or anything like that, but it took the fear out of my life.

Julie Rogers 13:22

I understand that.

Amy Oppy 13:25

You know, it's it made me have a new life. It's like I did the best I could, and here I have a new life.

Julie Rogers 13:33

Yeah, it gives you a new lease on life, doesn't it?

Amy Oppy 13:35

That's how I feel.

Julie Rogers 13:37

You have said to me, and you probably maybe even say it on stage, but you say comedy saved my life. It helps stave off depression. And that is so true. Like that is your niche, comedy, right? Amy, that's what's gets you through some really hard, hard tribulations.

Amy Oppy 13:56

Oh yeah. It's not just the comedy, it's the socialization of comedy because it's for anyone. And and and the thing is, it's like I you know, in my um my 50s were I was a lot healthier 10 years ago when my mother, you know, right now I need cataract surgery and I'm you know, I'm doing everything I can to keep myself as healthy as possible. But but I I feel like when I'm on stage and I'm speaking my truths and I'm making people laugh, and usually like lately I got this new opportunity I'm gonna host and produce shows locally, and I'm so excited about it. Yeah. Because, you know, it's like there's no age. I mean, you're either funny or you're not. I mean, yeah, I have a wrinkly face. I look old to me. I don't look like the same girl I used to, but in my heart, I'm I have uh the youngest joy just to have that laughter about something painful turn into funny. You know, like I say, when I just said to you somberly about my mother passing away with a smile on her face, I have a little joke that I do. I go, um, I've had people tell me, you know, maybe you should use botox, you know, your wrinkles will go away. And I'm like, I worked hard for those wrinkles, they'll go away when I die. Absolutely. You know, because I saw it happen.

Julie Rogers 15:18

Okay, Amy, I see you as a survivor. You are a strong woman who has coped with a lot of difficulties in your life. Can you please share why you are a survivor? Because you spent almost 13 years in prison.

Amy Oppy 15:37

Well, I tell you what, um the question popped in my mind while you were uh asking me. I'm like, I wonder when I first told her. I try not to let that be the only thing I tell people about me is that I was in prison because I don't look like someone who was in prison.

Julie Rogers 15:58

I know. What does that person look like?

Amy Oppy 16:02

Well, in my mind, because see, I didn't know anyone that went to prison, especially as long as I have, until I went to prison. I mean, I knew some people that went to jail and whatnot, but what happened is my addictive personality uh took the better of me and I got involved in crack cocaine instead of alcohol. I wasn't gonna be like my dad. So um crack cocaine was on the streets in Dallas, Texas. I don't know if you remember uh, you know, Roy Tarpley was on the um the the uh Dallas Mavericks and he they won the pen. I mean, uh he had uh more arrests than I did, but you know, he got like, come on, get back to get back to playing basketball. But me and the people like me, we got time because it was a political clout for, you know, it and I'm not gonna try to get political, but um obviously Ann Richards was trying to win and Bush won, and we know the rest of that story. But the whole process was to victimize people that were sick like me. And if you list down since since parole, I'm gonna jump ahead and go back. Since since parole, I've done much more research, but in my imagination, I was right. The government really did have much to do with crack cocaine being dominating the streets because it was a way to control people like fentanyl is now. But it was a horrible thing. It was a horrible way of life, it was a horrible time of my life, but I can promise you, when I did get arrested and it the shit was hitting the fan, I uh I straightened myself up in time to do 13 years, thank God. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. So while I was there, I did a whole lot of reading, a whole lot of observing, and I just, but a whole lot of running my mouth. Go figure. No surprise. So the officers did not like me much at all. So I had more infractions that I could shake a stick at, and I prepared to write a book about stacks and stacks of I mean, they they did everything from, you know, every punishment possible or just silly, silly things, you know. But if they accuse you of something in jails or prison, you're always guilty no matter how much evidence you have to the contrary. And so you just kind of take it. And I um so I got out of prison uh January 13th, 2005. I was uh I was my incarceration began and then I was out for a minute be before court, but my but time began uh on February the the uh 23rd in 1992. So from 1992 till 2005, I was pretty much a ward the state of Texas in some capacity. But when I got out in parole New Braunfels, Texas, which is the plan ahead, um uh everything was doing great. My mom was my biggest support. She wrote me the most letters. She lived in Virginia with my other sisters, and my my father had passed away in the early 90s, but at the same token, um, it was a lonely, the lonely path. Just on a whim, I came to Texas in in uh '82 just to get away. Um I was at the time involved in uh I'm actually one of the uh you know original like Hooter Girls that had just started all that down there. But I left, I left Florida. Um I I've traveled everywhere with my family, and I chose Texas. And I think that was just because it was my choice. You know, and I came out to Texas with a boyfriend uh in I don't gosh, I can't I think it was 81, and uh it was just I fell in love with it, you know. But then I found, you know, I've been in different parts of Texas, but where I live now is my favorite part of Texas, but I do go to the beach a lot. I learned while I got out that people will only judge you for what you tell them, you know, and so because it's just it's crazy, you know. Um you know, and so I have these things on my computer right here, they're little stickers, and I you know, it says if no one has told you today that they that um that they love you, then you're then you're hanging around with the wrong people. You know, and also success is not final, you know? Success, it's not final. So, you know, but don't put your head up in the air because failure is not fatal. I love that one. And this too shall pass, you know, and and that's why like getting kicked out of the nursing homes and things like that, I had things happen to me in prison that were just unbelievable. I had an officer try to rape me and I told about it, and they de what it doesn't it sound like the same kind of pattern? They just try to defam your personality. It's all your fault that we treated you badly. Parallel with the nursing homes, parallel and and it's you know, it even happened in comedy for a hot minute when I got a little bit too famous, but that's a whole nother podcast, too. People are afraid you can't be too happy in public. I'm sorry if that sounds dark, but that's been my experience. How dare me have such a colorful past and be happy in public? Oh, Amy. Yeah. Well, you learn the haves and have-nots, but you also learn well, you learn game. You learn a lot of people how they try to get into you sentimentally and in different ways and all. But then, but then it makes you so degone. I mean, like falling into the little potholes from one nursing home to the other, you think that it was, but it's parallel with me trying to make parole. Because from the first time, and you can read about me, there is there are articles in the Gatesville newspaper. There's there's things at the the um the Austin Chronicle put a uh story about me in tw 2001. You can put up the blue the blues from Gatesville, and Amy Smith was my name in prison, and the writer's name was Smith, so don't get confused. I didn't write the story, she came and interviewed me. But um that you know but I was legally still Smith because I didn't get that was my second husband. But but I went back to my maiden my born name. But but you know, when I got kind of famous-ish, people couldn't look me up in prison because they didn't know the Smith part. So they said I was lying about prison. But yeah, it's all me. I mean, I have no shame in my life. The only thing that I would be ashamed of if I didn't use my experiences to to move on and move past and stay strong. And my gosh darn it, how did we meet? Because we helped each other.

Julie Rogers 22:39

Exactly. The power of our voices, we were dealing with the same issues with our with our moms and and all of that. And that's true connection. Yeah.

Amy Oppy 22:50

I had mourned my mom since the day she woke up and didn't know who I was the first time.

Julie Rogers 22:54

Yes. That it's it's interesting you bringing that up because I felt the same way. My sisters and I was especially talking about it. We were mourning our mother the whole four almost five years that she was dealing with Alzheimer's. Because we she lost who she was. And that means she lost being our mother, just even her own inner personal personality changed. So yeah.

Amy Oppy 23:17

I don't remember if she was in she went in a nursing home or did she stay?

Julie Rogers 23:21

We had to make a family decision to put her in the nursing home because she was scared of us. She was scared of the family, she was delusional. Yeah.

Amy Oppy 23:30

Yeah, well, yeah. And and those and also I was afraid I'd hurt her by mistake or forget her pills. It it it just it took my inner soul away. And so and and um when I found out that Texas was one of the nine states that allowed cameras, sometimes I wish I didn't have a camera, but then I know that that's why she did stay alive for 10 years.

Julie Rogers 23:52

Because you were you were holding trying to hold them accountable, yeah.

Amy Oppy 23:58

Oh my god, one time I went I went um out of town to do a gig with I mean, a big thing. I flew to Washington, D.C. to do a comedy jazz show, and I was so happy to do it. And I had um my my friend said, I'll watch go in there and take your mom's laundry and talk to her and all, and you but don't look at your camera at all. Well, I didn't look at my camera. And then when I came back, my mom had bruise marks that looked like a hand all over her arm. And what they knew that I wasn't using my camera, and I was gone. And the the girl confessed finally, she was about even five foot tall. She was flipping my mom from side to side, and the colostomy bag was too full, and she almost fell off the side of the bed. And the reason she had the bruise marks is because she kept her from falling by her arm, grabbing her arm. And they both screamed and someone finally came in. But she swore, you know, they swore up and down someone was in the room because they didn't think, yeah, I didn't mind I had my camera on my phone, but it still was recording. I had to go to all I could do is go my computer and I had to go through because it and then the girl knew and she came and confessed. You you can't blame me for getting like this, and you can't. I mean, if anybody remembers my remark from the beginning when I said trying to get an attorney to get something righteous about any of this. Are you kidding me? How I am such an excitable girl. How fun for them. And so, you know, it's like um it was New Braunfels Police, then Bulverde police, and um, and then it was New Braunfels Police the third time, and then I went to Saigne. My mom died in Saigne, and I got one hundred percent total respect in Saigne because all of the CNAs there had been other places and ended up there too, and they all loved me, and they all felt bad at what had happened, but couldn't help it. So I would hear them tell the new nurses this woman will do anything for her mom, and she'll do anything for the other patients if let be. Because I had this one nurse that the the the third one I was kicked out of is because I was helping too many people that had fake guardians, and I got involved in trying to freaking investigate guardianships. Oops. They stole this one lady's house, and her lawyer started calling me, and that was really what happened.

Julie Rogers 26:17

Because you had a big heart.

Amy Oppy 26:18

Because, you know, because I was too but all I had to protect my mother, it wasn't my business. But, you know, I just never my mother taught me to not look the other way, but but expense of her, I had to. I should have never got involved. Now listen to how this works in life, because this is just a little sticker, and it says, and unless I accept my virtues, I will be overcome with my faults. So it's the exact reason why I couldn't make parole. And at one time when I went in front of the parole board and they kept saying, No, you have too many infractions, no why would she let you make because they knew this. And one female warden that I called after I made parole because she ended up being in the higher epsilon of the TD Texas criminal justice system. And she had told me, Amy, if you could only rein in your enthusiasm and put it in the right direction, you won't scare people away that want to help you. So my best virtue of having that tenacity and you know, and just follow through with my instincts was my worst enemy. And it still remained that way as a caregiver. That's why you can call me a survivor. Wow. You know? You use all your experiences, strength, and hopes to remind yourself I've been like this before in some capacity. I this too shall pass. Where's my fault in this? Because a lot of people like me end up beating ourselves up because others won't accept who we are. But I refuse to water myself down for any reason. I'm 66 years old now. This is me every day of the week.

Julie Rogers 28:01

Yes. Well, that's the epitome of a survivor. I mean, survivors, nobody's perfect. You know what I mean? You just said that perfectly. All right, I want to tie something in with your about your comedy show that, and you, and by the way, you never did, we never discussed about you. Just said that you did stand-up comedy. And then I remember looking you up on YouTube, and that's when I that's when I found out about the Kill Tony show, which I had no idea what the heck was a Kill Tony show. And that that's pretty much how you got famous, right? And you were a part of it.

Amy Oppy 28:37

I honestly can tell you uh it was an accidental famous, just like all other things, accidental, because my son, best friend, knew that I was doing comedy, and he lived out in Colorado and he only listened to the podcast. He never watched it. But he told he he knew I did comedy, and he told my son when they were playing video games, you know how they do it on their headphones, he goes, Hey, tell your mom to go to 6th Street to the Vulcan Gas Company, because there's a show that came out of Los Angeles called Kill Tony Show, and see if she can get on. So Jan so July tw uh 2021, I signed up and stood in stood there, and they pulled my name out the first time. And I guess I thought everybody got a chance, even though logistically it's not possible. But I was on the one of the main characters took me under their wing and kind of forced his improv on me, and I tried to go with it, but but uh then he used this thing with Joe Rogan and said that told Joe Rogan and them that they were afraid of my husband. It went on and on. He pulled me on stage, said we were married, that I was pregnant by him, and that I was doing cocaine. And then I ended up being friends with his wife, they were doing my hair, but then Tony said I was upstaging him. So so that was a good one. But D Madness, the um, the the blind musician, it's a bass player, him and I had met each other previously at some Marley Fest when I'd be the designated driver for my kids and and uh for Austin and uh and then so I ended up being his transportation from his house to the job. And then they changed to the mothership and all. And then I I hadn't been on the Kill Tony show the whole time since they've been at the mothership, and I think this month makes it two years, maybe three years. It could be, but my mother's death and all slowed my the my rebirth has kept me in San Antonio and not Austin. And then uh I really got the you know, if anyone watches me on my Amy Oppy's comedy, AMY O P P Y Apostrophe S comedy on YouTube, you'll see me on all that. And all they do is roast you. And one of the jokes that Tony said, Are you sure your mother has Alzheimer's, or is she using any excuse she can to just pretend you're not her daughter? Yeah, so my my I went to my high school reunion and they're like they had watched the shit and they go, Amy, why do you let that man talk to you like that?

Julie Rogers 30:57

Oh my gosh. Oh, I don't know how you could do that. Oh man, you have to have some thick skin.

Amy Oppy 31:06

I have a thick skin, yeah. But I knew that he loves me. I mean, I I saw him behind the scenes before he got to be a snooty millionaire and got too political. You know, I still love him, but it's just not my cup of tea anymore up there. And there was just a gazillion people and they disrespected me one time too many. My truth is that I've learned to be able to uh to to stand up for myself, and I don't have to be someone else's brunt of their joke anymore, no matter what it is in life. I mean, they and I kicked me, they they kicked me out of four nursing homes, you know, but because because can I say this? Can I say that God is good? Absolutely. Um, I accidentally going to the dog groomer met somebody um that's connected with a little strip shop there that has a restaurant that's got another building that um I was picking up uh uh an order while my dogs were getting their nails clipped. And I said, Hey, do you know anyone around here since I, you know, I left the New Braunfels and I moved to Spring Branch? I said, Do you know anyone around here that might let comedy happen? And she got tears in her eyes. And she said that you were so she said, I don't want to sound weird. That sounds so weird. But she was had had this notebook, and all she wants to do is make everyone laugh because we have some hard times coming. You know? And so um I'm gonna tell the clean version of the one joke that I always say it because I say it at Goodwill, I say it at Home Depot, I say it at the HCB grocery store. If I get to talking to people and I say, and and just like, okay, first I'm gonna say the joke, and then I'm gonna tell you why I do it. And not particularly this joke, but this is my favorite joke to throw on people because they never forget it. Because it's my only joke, and as many jokes as I've listened to, I have not heard one like this. Okay? So I say, I have a joke about race. Y'all want to hear about race? And we only have one race to discuss that makes a difference, and the only race we have in common. Do you know what that race is? It's the night we all swam out of our daddy into our mommy. And we all did that swim. That means we have something in common. The most important race is what we have in common.

Julie Rogers 33:28

I love it. That's awesome.

Amy Oppy 33:31

And that, and that people don't know what I'm gonna say. I've said it to police. I've said it, I mean, I went to uh I went to Fourth of July, I went uh to Bob Dylan and uh Willie Nelson concert in Austin. And I love getting a little group of um rent a cops together and say, Would you like to hear a race joke? And they all lean in.

Julie Rogers 33:52

They're like, What is gonna come out of her mouth? I love it.

Amy Oppy 33:56

Um, I really know that I couldn't be 66 years old in this day and age without my without my reason to get out of the house. Because my husband's away all the time, you know? And and so I will be driving just a few miles away helping this woman create a new venue. Everything's in the early stages. But the first part of it is there um the woman's cook um experienced a house fire, lost her house, lost her car, and almost lost her children because she was uh they had just got dropped off by the bus and she was getting a ride home from work. So this woman has lost everything, and you know her children are fine, though. Oh, thank God. And so we're doing a fundraiser while we grand open this as a new comedy spot. Yeah, it's like it's like I was given, and you know, I don't have to water myself down for this woman. She's an enthusiast like me. She's the kind of person that she's done a gazillion things, but you know, bigger than this kind of event. But she's like, she like I I'm really honest. I never oversell myself. You know, I never I say, if I haven't done it before, but I can learn how. You know, that's because I believe that comedy is what's gonna save us.

Julie Rogers 35:12

You know what that is? That is a meant-to-be moment, girl, for all of that to happen. If we don't, if we stop laughing, I mean, as a commun, as a person, as a family, as a community, as a state, a nation, a world, then we might as well hang it up if you can't laugh. So I I like this because in your I've seen some of your, you know, the the videos of your comedy, you know, your comedy act, which is hilarious. But what I like about it when you bring up about the negative energy, you say, I don't like negative energy, it's a waste of time.

Amy Oppy 35:49

Most fun that I have, or when I go to venues that it's a lot of young people, they're like, what is this old hag going up here? Or whatever they got to say. But um, you know, and it and it's like but I I like um everybody I I always try to get a current event or something local or something whatever, but but uh but but I but I really I can reel a lot of people in with that with that swimming joke. I call it my swimming joke. But I also say, you know, then I say that I was in prison. Well, sometimes that really makes people go away. They don't want to hear about someone being in prison, not at a comedy club.

Julie Rogers 36:26

Too dark for them. They're thinking, yeah.

Amy Oppy 36:28

Oh yeah, yeah. So but um I tell them that uh I that the reason I survived prison, and I'm not gonna use the the word that I use, but I say self-help. Self-help. I found a lot of self-help. I mean the truth of the matter is self-help comes in always. And and my personal self-help was, you know, how did I get this way? You know? How did I not see that I was jeopardizing my freedom? How did I stand in front of a a lawyer and let him let him plead me out for 20 years? 20 years for $20 of the crack that I didn't even get to buy. But I got to bring the $20 to, and who the hell wants to hear that someone went to prison for six weeks short of 13 years and they didn't actually have the crack? Well, guess what? It's true. I did not have it. I went to get it, but they laughingly said, here, now you can have $20 for commissary in jail. Because they knew what I was doing. They hadn't they had arrested the guy inside that I'd go in over there across the street from where I lived and to pick up a pick-me-up, you know, because it's crack cocaine was extremely addictive, and I've heard it's only had gotten worse over time because people are ruthless. People are ruthless. But see, this was before cell phones, pretty much, you know? When I was doing drugs, it was like that. It was before cell phones. There's a long story to that because um a lot of it had to do with mom's situation. And uh I was working as a merchandiser for Kellogg's and I loved it, you know. No, what uh that's before we looked at ingredients, by the way. That's before the food bank came into our life, and she's like, don't eat this. But but but at the same token, um uh everything like accidentally happened, but everything adaptable, you know. The only thing that I didn't, I don't think that accidentally happened is that I was raised by two of the most incredible people that loved each other all the time. They showed me what love is. People that get up in the morning in our country right now that go into a courthouse thinking that they're gonna better their life for good on paper, and they get taken away and put in a place that they should never be. When I went to recovery for a very, very, very long time, the best thing that I got from it that I took away because I got sick of hearing things over and over again, so I do my own recovery in my own way, but I know that there was not one person's problem I'd want to go home with and not my own. Because God does not give us more than we can handle. And and no matter how you size it up, if someone's gonna judge me, because and that was one of the things I did on Kill Tony. You get tired of being spoofed on, you know. But the thing is, if you're not, you know, I thought about changing my name from Miss Amy O to Miss Understood. And just call me under. Because I stood for something. You know, but I've been I've been put down for my uh, you know, my opinion, and I'm thinking that at this how old do you have to be that you don't have to give a give a care about what other people think? I think it's a mindset.

Julie Rogers 39:46

I want to ask you about how you've just recently how many years ago have you moved now and and you guys are living in a 42-foot fifth-wheel camper, right? You guys downsized you and your husband Gary. How did that happen?

Amy Oppy 40:00

I do live in an RV in an R V park, and there's there's at least six RV parks within a 50-mile radius from where I'm at. Large ones. And so it's not a small thing, it's happening all around us. And there's some of them are mixed tiny houses, some of them have amenities, some of them have kids, some of them don't have kids, you know, and um I very choosy to where I moved to to some capacity because of um just being me and rubbing people wrong. And I'm like, yeah, I'm always the factor in these stories. However, it's a commonality. When people have things to hide, what do they do? They attack the other person, especially if they're people of authority. Yeah. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. That's right. But you never know when you're being fooled these days. People got it going on. You know, I'm I'm I learned technology after I got out of prison at 47 years old. I was scared of the computer. Now I'm talking on one that might go who knows where. Anybody could be listening. So, uh, there's no tit for tact in this country because one of my jokes I use is I was trained to uh have a very high-paying job in prison. I got up at three o'clock in the morning and everything to do hazmat cleanup. And when I got out, found out they don't hire felons, but that's where I got my certification from. And I go, well, I should have run for president instead.

Julie Rogers 41:26

That's that's funny. That's funny.

Amy Oppy 41:32

Yeah, I get a good laugh out of that. I feel like the 21st of March is gonna be the debut of all the things that this woman believes that I'm capable of and has given me the um, she said, I'm gonna set you loose like a chihuahua on all these tasks. And and number one task is incentives. I mean, we're having a silent uh auction, a bounce house. We're having a smash up this girl's the what's remained of the girl's car is getting towed over there on the property, and they're gonna charge to sledgehammer it.

Julie Rogers 42:01

Wow.

Amy Oppy 42:02

We're having I had I called the fire department people and that that rescued them, and they're gonna come over and bring the fire truck and and let the kids get on it.

Julie Rogers 42:09

That's great.

Amy Oppy 42:10

And talk to them about fire safety. Um I got the local uh car dealership that I know, the um used car. They're gonna help they're helping this lady get a really good deal in a car for advertisement.

Julie Rogers 42:20

Nice. That's wonderful.

Amy Oppy 42:22

You know, I'm just you know, and that's only all I did in three days.

Julie Rogers 42:26

Listen, girl, that is community service at its best. Accidentally, which seems to be your your narrative of like all this stuff that's happened to your life. I like how you use that word because I've never heard it spoken that way before. I like that because it's saying like, you know, I didn't necessarily sign up for this. All of those, all these roles that I feel you've played, and all of us have played in our in our lives. And then, but it's like, what can you get out of it? What are you doing that's meaningful out of it? And you are ready to give back. You're giving back, Amy, is what you're doing. So, but you feel you're in a good place right now, you feel you feel blessed.

Amy Oppy 43:03

Well, the first question always is this, Julie, and you have to always remember this first question is what was my part in getting in this predicament or whatever it is you're dealing with? What was my part? How could this have been different had I changed something I did? And then it's not taking the blame for things, it's just saying, I'm gonna change my actions if this is the result.

Julie Rogers 43:23

The woulda coulda shoulda.

Amy Oppy 43:25

Yes, yes, but you can't you can't say, you know, the failure, it's back to those little sayings. Failure, you know, it's not permanent. And neither is success. It's just a it's just a way to regroup. But but but the positiveness of this downsizing for me, and and if you look on YouTube, there's a gazillion people moving and downsizing, and I'm gonna tell you, it's so it's so much better for your brain. I mean, um, when you asked me to do this, I'm gonna make a confession. I said, I'm finally gonna out all mom's stuff now. Yesterday, I had them all cleaned up and And put in these great big bins, and I brought them across the street to the Hope Center. All the rest of mom's stuff that I've been hanging on to, really nice blankets, really nice, all the I mean her baby dolls and everything. I took her name off of them, and I just just I couldn't keep doing it to myself. I have the things I want to remember. I have the things in my head. I have her ashes. I have her cuckoo clock. You know, but but I had to, those material things were only making me sad sometimes because my house is so bright inside. It's so um, I had friends come over here and help me. Um I put put the covered the underbelly with a fabric this year for the first time. We had one freeze. Last year we had three freezes, but we actually had a whole week of below 10 degrees, or like, you know, which doesn't happen. Yeah, and but I'm glad I had it done. But you know, we had to do undo that, and now we're up there at hundreds. But but the whole thing in a nutshell has always been go forward, don't move backwards. And the positivity of downsizing is every time you have a ta-da moment, you can pat yourself on the back. And I'm having a ta-da moment right now because I wanted to do this for for what we've talked about this for a year, and that there's if there's a way to ask questions, I'm happy to answer them. You know, my email is A M-E and the number two, B-M-E at Gmail. And um, I'm happy to get, you know, if you need some support or something like that, you know, I'm just hands-on can always tell you it's you know, this too shall pass. Everything that, you know, unfortunately, even good stuff. And I hope that I either see you in in one place or another in in the near future. I really look forward to it. And uh uh everyone can think about me. Uh I'm working on getting cataract surgery because that's my issue right now, is my eyesight.

Julie Rogers 45:53

Well, this has been amazing, Amy. I'm r I really, really appreciate you taking the time and that we could could chat like this. I feel like I just talked to you last week. Well, I did just talk to you last week, but I mean, you know what I mean. Like, I love how we have this natural flow, and I wish you all the best with with all your comedy, your giving back to the community, this whole new thing that could be happening.

Amy Oppy 46:18

Onward and upward.

Julie Rogers 46:20

Onward and upward. That's the perfect way to end this segment. Thank you so much, Amy. Thank you. The views and opinions expressed by Nearest and Dearest Podcast are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Nearest and Dearest Podcast. Any content provided by Julie Rogers or any other authors are of their opinion. They are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual, or anyone or anything. Thank you.