Finding Balance

Julie Rogers 0:05

No one ever said life is easy , but I believe by giving yourself permission , you will find you have more control over your life than you realize . I'm Julie . I hope you will join me by taking responsibility for yourself , by only controlling the things you can and letting go of the things that you can't . By doing this , you will have discovered the secret to having happy , healthy and more fulfilling relationships . This is Nearest And Dearest Podcast . I'm Julie Rogers and you are listening to Episode 20 , Finding Balance .

Julie Rogers 0:51

Do you remember when you were a kid and you were playing on a teeter-totter ? You enjoyed the thrill your belly felt when you went up in the air and then down again with your friend on the other end . You had to trust the other person to keep the rhythm going easily , so each of you were enjoying the ride . It could end roughly or smoothly , depending on your mood . You either nicely took the time to take yourself off without crashing your friend on their end , or you wanted to make a more dramatic exit and quickly jumped off , leaving no time for your friend to land without a big thump .

Julie Rogers 1:42

Life is like that . You have your ups and downs . You can't always predict what challenges life throws at you . When you try to distribute the things in your life like school , work , family and community . You are seeking a balance between all of these important things that are in the long term , not in every instance of life . You want emotional well-being and strive for better fitness and health . You need to say no to something else that interferes with you doing something you want to do which leads you to making time for yourself . How do you do that ? Part of the answer to that question is being able to adapt to change . Nothing ever stays the same , even the longest job you might have or relationships you value . The moving parts will change . You can't stop it , either new technology for your job or new management that wants to overall how business will be conducted . Change is inevitable . Relationships should be changing . Healthy ones should show personal growth happening within from each person . The key to a happy , fulfilling , sustainable relationship should always be striving to not only achieve a couple's mutual goals , but also your own . Everyone has ideas about what makes them happy and fulfilled . No two people or relationships are alike . That's what makes all of us so interesting , valuable and unique .

Julie Rogers 4:04

I love to read books , especially ones that are nonfiction , and also watch movies . One of my all-time favorites is Eat Pray Love written by Elizabeth Gilbert , a memoir about her life and her real struggle to find her own best version of herself . I read the book first . It was very enlightening to me . When the movie came out with Julia Roberts as the lead actress, I couldn't wait to see it . I connected with her story . I was also trying to figure out who I was and find a balance with my life . I invited my two sisters and we went to the local drive-in to see it .

Julie Rogers 4:57

It was the summer of 2010 . I was not in a relationship . I had ended the first serious one since my 20-year marriage the year before . I was searching for a healthy , sustainable , long-term relationship that would balance out my own happiness and dreams . My biggest takeaway was that I needed to love myself first and foremost .

Julie Rogers 5:33

This quote is from her book, "you are , after all , what you think . Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts and you are the slave to your emotions" , end quote . I remember thinking, of course I love myself , but the difference between thinking you love yourself and actually making choices that define who you are is even more empowering . Choices define who we are as a person . It shows our character to the world . You either are making better choices or surviving bad ones . What I have learned is when you survive those bad ones , it makes you even stronger . I know the word survive can sound like a life or death situation , but I like to use it when I realize that , no matter how big or small , that specific choice I made turns out to not be the best decision . I can own that and then move forward with a better understanding of why it didn't work out and then make that next choice , which will continue to support my own goals or intentions .

Julie Rogers 7:22

Decisions are not a one and done reality . You can always make new ones that are better suited for you . Your attitude in how you handle any decisions that you can control , and even the ones that you have no control over , will affect your well-being . It's always your control over your own actions , words , your character that you want to present , that your employer , spouse , family , friends and anyone who you come in contact with, that shows who you are .

Julie Rogers 8:15

You know the expression you can't please everyone . I myself have fallen victim to that . I always was trying to make sure everyone I loved was happy with my choices , decisions , lifestyle . I was constantly seeking approval , but what I have learned is there is absolutely no way to please everyone . By trying to be a people pleaser , you give up control over your own life . You have to put yourself first with owning your decisions .

Julie Rogers 9:04

When you make a life decision , it is yours to make . Everyone has that right . Sometimes , the people you love and respect totally understand your decisions , and that's great . It's a bonus . Enjoy that support .

Julie Rogers 9:24

You have to be confident when you make your own decisions . There will be times when you will get unsolicited opinions and you might feel the need to adapt to what is being offered . But make sure you have the final decision and don't feel guilty or that somehow your decisions are selfish . You have one life . You are responsible for choosing how you want to live it . If you let others , even the ones you love the most , keep you from fulfilling your dreams , or they are trying to minimize your priorities , you will have a lifetime of regrets . You have to validate yourself . You don't need anyone else to approve of who you are . That's a true sense of you loving yourself first . Perception is also a factor . Everyone has their own view . By really understanding that , you will keep making your own decisions that work for just you . Your journey is yours alone and not everyone will get it . Your quality of a well-balanced life depends on yourself .

Julie Rogers 11:08

Family is very important to me . My mother instilled that in me and my siblings . I make conscious choices about quality time with my family . I make it a priority . Because Woody and I are retired and we travel back and forth between our home on the river and now we will be traveling to Puerto Rico for our winter months . We have limited time for our family and friends . We make it work . Our lifestyle is our decision together . No one else made that decision for us .

Julie Rogers 11:57

I think fear can lead to people not living the life that they truly want to . Fear is a normal emotion . I faced it when I made the decision to move to Georgia for love . I followed my heart and , even with knowing I was leaving family and friends , I trusted my instinct to allow myself to find true happiness . I had some friends ask how could I leave behind my grandchildren and not be as involved with seeing them as much by moving so far away ? But here's the thing about fear you have to face it , you can't give into it . You can find a true balance with your own life that works for you . There is no rule book about how that looks . You have to give yourself permission first . Once you start doing that , you will see who really values and still loves you unconditionally . You might lose some people , the naysayers who don't want you to be happy and successful with your own goals and dreams . Let them go . Let in joy, fulfillment and love into your life . I have so much happiness . I would rather choose quality time over indifference . Every time . I have more patience , understanding and enjoyment when I spend that quality time with all my relationships . I don't take any of them for granted . Keep striving towards your own version of a healthy balance with your life . It's always in your own hands . The sense of freedom that you are giving yourself is the key to unlocking your endless possibilities with living your best life .

Promotion of Nearest and Dearest Podcast

Julie Rogers 14:31

Thank you for listening . Please visit my website , nearestanddearestpodcast . com . There you will find show notes and links . The views and opinions expressed by Nearest And Dearest Podcast are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Nearest And Dearest Podcast . Any content provided by Julie Rogers or any other authors are of their opinion . They are not intended to malign any religion , ethnic group , club , organization , company , individual or anyone or anything . Thank you .