Finding Happiness

Julie Rogers: 0:05

No one ever said life is easy, but I believe by giving yourself permission you will find you have more control over your life than you realize. I'm Julie. I hope you will join me by taking responsibility for yourself, by only controlling the things you can and letting go of the things that you can't. By doing this, you will have discovered the secret to having happy, healthy and more fulfilling relationships. This is Nearest And Dearest Podcast. I'm Julie Rogers and you are listening to Season 3, Episode 3, Finding Happiness. I wear a baseball cap that has a patch on the front panel. It says in white letters Wicked Happy.

Julie Rogers: 0:52

I lived in Connecticut for over 20 years, so the word wicked, attached to any adjective, is used as slang for New Englanders, meaning very or awesome. My son, Sean, got it for me one year for Christmas. I actually asked him to get it for me. Woody and I enjoyed the show Maine Cabin Masters and if you have never seen it, it's a fun show about a close-knit crew who live in Maine and they're contractors that work on restoring or renovating older cabins. Their accents remind me of New England, and the work they do is outstanding.

Julie Rogers: 1:33

One particular episode a few years back showed Chase, he's one of the owners and he was wearing a particular baseball cap that caught my attention. I kept looking at it and I realized it said Wicked Happy. I love that. I use Wicked a lot in my conversations, especially when I'm extra excited. I feel I'm a Wicked Happy person. So I googled the hat from the show and found a website that was selling it. I forwarded it to Sean and Ashley and told them this would be a cool gift for me for Christmas and, if I remember, they both laughed about it. But by Christmas that year I opened the present and there it was. I was wicked excited.

Julie Rogers: 2:20

I wear that hat every morning when I walk or I take a hike, even when I need to hide a bad hair day. It's a great reminder about how I feel about my life. Of course, I'm not 100% happy every single moment. I have life's ups and downs, just like you. I'm so very grateful for the wonderful happy moments that have become etched into my heart ever since I can remember. Being mindful about realizing what makes you happy is an ever-evolving journey that will constantly change and adapt to your own life's perceptions that only you get to realize is true for you.

Julie Rogers: 3:04

When I decided to talk about finding happiness, I wanted to search my memory from as far back as I could. I believe happiness comes easier when we were kids. I was lucky to pull out these cherished times that still give me my first glimpse into how happiness feels. I have many, many happy moments from my childhood. Soft serve ice cream from Clark's it was a small town ice cream stand in Dexter, New York. It is definitely a big part of my happy childhood moments.

Julie Rogers: 3:39

My favorite memory was sitting in my parents' station wagon along with my siblings. My youngest sister, Jo-Jo, the baby of the family, was having a hard time with keeping up with eating her soft-serve ice cream on a cone before it started melting everywhere. So as a good older sister, I offered to help her out. She handed me her cone cone and I would gladly slurp it to stop the dripping and then hand it back to her. Getting ice cream in the summer was a big treat for us and if you are ever in Dexter New York, you can go to Jody's Dairy Bar, which used to be Clark's or Lickety Split Ice Cream Shop. I might be a little biased, but both places offer delicious soft serve. The Twist is my favorite.

Julie Rogers: 4:35

Most of my treasured childhood memories that left me feeling happy involved being outside. I was lucky to have lived in Brownville, a small town where kids could hang outside and play hide-and-go-seek, hopscotch, mother may I, tag and ride our bikes. We lived right across the street from where the summer recreation playground was. Many happy memories came from there. Well, one year I was around five or six. I was in the end of summer talent show.

Julie Rogers: 5:06

Pug, who was a wonderful adult who was a volunteer of the summer rec program, convinced me to sing a song which, by the way, I will never claim to be a good singer, but it never has stopped me from singing. But I was a little kid and I must have shown some spunk. It was Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head by BJ Thomas. She would invite me over to her home for practice. She would play this song over and over again on her record player until I knew every word. I have a memory of singing the song in front of the audience, which consisted of the families who had their children in the show. I think the audience got to vote for their favorite. I vaguely have a memory of people writing down a name and turning it in. To my surprise, I was voted queen and Tommy Gonseth was voted king. It was a special, happy moment for me. I remember I had a homemade crown and a long red robe, and so did Tommy. We had special chairs that resembled a throne that we got to sit on. He was older than me but I think I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. There might have been some encouragement from everyone around us.

Julie Rogers: 6:32

Pug also worked at my elementary school in the cafeteria. She knew me from school as well as the summer rec program. When I broke my left arm in the first grade, I remember her assisting me with my lunch tray. I know I wasn't the only kid who felt special around her. She touched many lives and I will always be happy listening to Raindrops Keep F alling On My Head.

Julie Rogers: 6:59

Here's one of the verses. "But there's one thing I know the blues they send to meet me won't defeat me. It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me. Raindrops keep falling on my head, but that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red. Crying's not for me, cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining because I'm free, nothing's worrying me." Okay, here's another fun fact. This song was written for the movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid in 1969 with Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Katharine Ross.

Julie Rogers: 8:04

It's easier finding happiness when things are going your way. You got that promotion you deserve. You found the love of your life. The officer gave you a warning and not a speeding ticket or countless other things that happened to you that puts a big smile on your face. When the sun is shining and you're on vacation, you appreciate the time with your family or friends. You might still have worries on your mind, but your focus is going to be on the present. That's when you get to relax. Enjoy quality time with your loved ones. Use this opportunity to feel connected.

Julie Rogers: 8:43

Our friends Pat and Michael visited us in Puerto Rico recently. We were grateful to have beautiful tropical weather along with plenty of sunshine to warm our spirits. Woody and I were tour guides. Even though we are still figuring out this wonderful island ourselves, we are proud to show our friends our second home away from home. Last year, during the winter months, was all about getting our condo settled and furnished. Woody had just finished our guest bathroom before our friends arrived. We are happy with how our hard work mostly Woody's talent and muscle made our condo our home. We checked out some places we have been before, but also some new ones as well. I'm happy to say we have been doing more relaxing this winter than last. Just a couple more small projects to tackle next winter.

Julie Rogers: 9:44

So how do you find happiness when things aren't going your way? I remind myself that happiness is a state of mind. The key to discovering to choose to be happy is easier than you think. I found some tips to share with you from happiness. com. Number one trick your brain. Happiness starts with a smile. There are studies showing that smiling sends positive feedback to the brain, even when you're forcing it. This is because the brain can pick up cues from our body to generate certain moods by releasing a bunch of feel-good hormones. Also, smiling calms us down by slowing our heart rate. So putting on a grin can improve your mood at times when you need it the most. My tip, I smile at anyone I come across in my path on my everyday walks or the grocery store, wherever I am. It doesn't matter if I know them or not. I simply say hello and smile. I'm putting a positive out into the world and it makes me and the person receiving it feel good.

Julie Rogers: 11:00

Number two count your blessings. Stop focusing on what you don't have. You think you'll be happy when you get whatever you want, but that's not always true. Instead, think about the things you do have. That makes your life precious. I have written down my blessings, things I'm grateful for. It helps when your life is challenging and it's harder to think positively. True gratitude will help shape your happiness as a choice. Number three start your day the right way. Give yourself 10 to 15 minutes and try meditating. Don't be intimidated about what that looks like. Just clear your mind and focus on positive thoughts. Think of something that brings you peace. It can be as simple as appreciating your ability to breathe. Recognize your breath, have running water to shower with a roof over your head. You decide what your positives are.

Julie Rogers: 12:10

Number four change perspective. If you're like me, dreary, cold weather with no sunshine can affect my attitude. I need the sun and warmth to give me energy, and if you are dealing with serious problems and the weather is making it worse, try looking for sunshine in another way. Maybe read a book about a destination you would like to visit someday, or watch a movie that makes you laugh. Scroll through your own photos of memories that make you smile. By changing your perspective, you are giving yourself the power to find happiness, no matter what.

Julie Rogers: 12:51

I kept a little video of my granddaughter Eloise when she was around three. I used to watch a morning show on HLN called Morning Express with Robin Mead. Her tagline was good morning sunshine. I wanted Eloise to say that expression so I could record it. I have three different little videos of her wearing her cute little flower nightgown and belting out good morning sunshine! Whenever I need a little boost myself, all I have to do is bring up that video. It puts a big smile on my face every time.

Julie Rogers: 13:34

Number five find and give support. Isolation and loneliness are always around us and can make us feel miserable, even when we have reasons to be joyful. I have had those moments when I choose to interact with my friends or family during those times I feel better than handling it on my own. When you find the right support with others, it not only helps yourself, but also you give back to them as well. Surround yourself with positive influences. You will attract more like-minded people who have your best interest at heart. Number six do a kind act a day. The power of kindness is the real deal. Being nice is proven to boost your mood, lower your stress and reduce anxiety. It can be as easy as holding a door open for a stranger to helping a senior get an item off the top shelf in a grocery store. The limits are endless. The world needs more acts of kindness and you can make a difference every day. Look for those opportunities.

Julie Rogers: 14:52

Number seven find meaning and purpose. I've talked about this before. As I'm getting older, I have the desire to find purpose, especially at this stage of my life. I'm retired and making this podcast a part of my life gives me a sense of both. I feel very blessed to have the love of my life right beside me. Woody always encourages me to challenge myself. One of the biggest joys in life is exploring and discovering what we're here for and what we can contribute to the world, or at least to those around us.

Julie Rogers: 15:34

Number eight cut down sources of unhappiness. This is a biggie. Spending too much time on social media can contribute to insecurity when we compare ourselves to others. This can lead to feelings of depression and a sense of dissatisfaction with our lives. Don't compare your life to others. Have your own goals and dreams. Focus on what you have to do to obtain the life you want. No one has it all. All of us are navigating our lives, weaving in and out of challenges, obstacles and hardships that set us back. By choosing happiness as your mindset, it is a personal, intentional decision that you are encouraging yourself to find joy in your everyday life's journey, not a bad way to finding and keeping your own happiness. I would love to hear about how you choose happiness as a mindset.

Julie Rogers: 16:49

Send me an email at julierogers at nearestanddearestpodcast. com. I will share it on a future episode. Let's focus on the positives in our lives. There is so much negative out there in the world. Each of us can make a difference by smiling every chance you get. It's contagious. I'll share a hyperlink for the website happiness. com, where you will see the article Happiness Is A State Of Mind Eight Ways You Can Achieve I t. It's under my show notes from wherever you listen to Nearest And Dearest Podcast. You will also see other links related to this episode. Feel free to share this episode with others who you think could use a little happiness boost. Thank you for listening. The views and opinions expressed by Nearest And Dearest Podcast are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Nearest And Dearest Podcast. Any content provided by Julie Rogers or any other authors are of their opinion. They are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything. Thank you.