🔁 BEST OF - You Did It!

No one ever said life is easy, but I believe by giving yourself permission, you will find you have more control over your life than you realize. I'm Julie. I hope you will join me by taking responsibility for yourself, by only controlling the things you can and letting go of the things that you can't. By doing this, you will have discovered the secret to having happy, healthy and more fulfilling relationships. This is Nearest And Dearest Podcast. I'm Julie Rogers and you are listening to Episode 23. You Did It! I want to hear about that one thing you did that changed your life.

It can be as challenging as facing your biggest fear, like driving cross-country for the first time ever, even though you have anxiety about driving long distance. Or how about how you survived on a low-income paycheck while being a single parent without any child support, but was able to have food on the table and pay your rent. Life struggles are the real deal. I have faced them. You have as well. The difference between facing them and successfully surviving them is how you handle those situations and finding the motivation that keeps you moving forward.

Woody and I decided to take our fifth wheel camper to Mesa, Arizona, for the winter of 2019. We had a job opportunity for the both of us to work from November 2018 through the winter at a very nice RV park resort. He was going to be pulling the camper with his big Ford truck and I was going to be driving my Jeep Wrangler. The furthest I had ever driven by myself was from Northern New York down to Augusta, Georgia. This long drive from our home in New York and drive cross-country to Mesa, Arizona, was going to take us five days, if all goes well. Our goal was to drive 500 miles a day and the trip is roughly about 2,500 miles.

My anxiety about driving long distance goes as far back as when I first got my driver's license, which didn't happen until I was 21. I wasn't that teenager that was excited to drive. I had a real fear of driving on any interstate highway. I don't even know why. I used to think maybe I had a horrible or tragic accident in a past life that involved a car, but however it came to be, my fear was real to me. I did conquer that fear of driving the interstate when I realized that I was limiting my opportunities to go places by myself. I used to have others drive me when needed, like my ex-husband or my friends, who were more comfortable driving highways. It wasn't until I worked part-time at a radio station and I had to get to my work sites on my own. I was part of a promotions road crew that I started facing those fears. I wasn't going to let my own fear stop me from pursuing a job that I really enjoyed. It was a big first step for me. I still remember my heart racing when I first would get on the highway and have to speed up to pass someone, to get by them or take an exit ramp. I would have sweaty palms and I would take extra breaths to inhale and exhale. I would tell myself You Did It! when I made it safely to my destination. It was the beginning of me taking more risks in order to achieve my goals. On my own terms, it was empowering. My driving is very different than Woody's. He has more experiences with long-haul driving than me. I'm not an aggressive driver.

We decided that we would map out our daily goals and pick a location where we would stop for the night to sleep before we would head out the next morning, usually around 7. I didn't want to try and follow him, nor did I want to be the leader of this journey. The alternative for us was to have that designated meeting place. We both had GPS through our phones and we would only call if we ran into any problems and let the other one know when whoever arrived first. It was comforting knowing that we would only focus on each leg of that trip at a time. By doing that, I wasn't as overwhelmed with the reality that this trip was going to be 2,500 miles. We would alternate sleeping in the RV at Walmart parking lots or an RV campground. That time we stopped in Kansas to see Woody's uncle, or treating ourselves and staying in a motel with the ability to sleep in a king bed and take a fresh hot shower. It was quite an adventure. By staying focused on each day's driving destination and visualizing the beginning and the ending of each new morning was how I got through that challenge.

I knew Woody had more to deal with. He was hauling a big fifth wheel. He wasn't worried or concerned. He's just that way. He's calm and he handles whatever comes his way. Because of Woody's natural calm demeanor, he would keep me at ease with my anxieties. To this day, when we travel together or I travel by myself, I always say a little prayer for a safe journey for us and all the others who drive on the road. It's my own little way that helps me feel secure.

I never thought that I was afraid of heights. However, on the last day of traveling to make it to our final destination of Mesa, Arizona, I realized that, yeah, I don't like driving through big mountains. I was thinking to myself as I saw this magnificent, regal-looking mound of mountains that were straight ahead of me. How am I going to drive through that? It was part of Tonto National Forest. We had left Gallup, new Mexico, in the morning. I was excited that this was going to be under 300 miles. I had no idea my last 60 miles or so was going to be the hardest part of my driving

for this road trip. I literally had to talk myself into pressing forward. I knew if I stopped and called Woody to express my fears that I wouldn't start the Jeep again. I knew that about myself. I had come so far, literally and figuratively, that I was going to just do it. It was the closest to having a panic attack that I have ever experienced. Well, there was one other time when I was the passenger in my ex-husband's big Dodge Ram truck heading up Mount Washington. But that's another story for another time. I turned the radio off. I turned the AC on high because my palms were so sweaty that I would have to wipe them on my shorts and then stick them right in front of the AC vents to cool them down.

Looking back now, as I'm telling this to you, I almost feel that this huge, magnificent mountain was taunting me and daring me to climb it. We were glad that this road trip did not have any real issues from the start. So here I am, the last leg, the last 60 miles, and this obstacle through my eyes was staring at me as if to say You Can Do it, Julie! I kept driving, climbing higher and higher, and the road was more curvy and curvier. I put on my hazard lights to let the other drivers know that I wasn't going to be speeding. I would stay in the far right lane when I could, and all I remember is I couldn't wait to start descending downward. The sad part about me driving this while trying not to have a full-blown panic attack was not being able to truly enjoy the absolutely breathtaking views that were all around me. But my priority was to simply keep going, staying focused on the road ahead of me with both sweaty palms on my steering wheel and safely arrive at the bottom. Once I reached the highway road that leveled off, I immediately felt 100% better. I thanked God for keeping me from losing my sanity and facing my fear head-on. I fist-pumped the air and I yelled out to the universe. I Did It! I Did It! When I told Woody about how I survived my inner battle with myself, I also proclaimed, just so you know, when it's time to leave Arizona and head back to New York, I will not drive through Tonto National Forest again. I don't care how much longer the trip will be extended, but I will go a different way.

Moving to Northern New York in the summer of 2006 with my then-16-year-old son, Sean, was a major turning point in both of our lives. There are several reasons for this. The first and most difficult one was moving forward with our lives without Sean's father. The other challenging real-life hardship was our financial status. I became a single working mom. There was no child support coming in. Joe's alcoholism left him jobless and eventually, at times, homeless. We had moved into a low-income-based housing apartment in a small town where my two sisters lived. We had to make huge adjustments. My home in Connecticut went into foreclosure and the bank took ownership, I had to let my car be repossessed. Ultimately, I took a job that was so close to our apartment that I could walk to work. I cleaned houses as well, to help supplement my only other source of income.

During these struggling years, which lasted from 2006 to 2013, I was the happiest that I had ever been. I was on my own for the very first time in my life, at the age of 40. It was a big transition for me. Now, all my decisions about where we were going to live, what kind of employment was I going to seek out and how was I going to do it all by myself were all on me. Of course, there were times when I felt lonely and dealing with how to make ends meet, but I truly tried to keep a positive attitude, along with my struggles. Feeling grateful was a strong and powerful positive emotion that still stays with me through my everyday life.

It doesn't matter how hard life gets or how many struggles you are dealing with every day, I would remind myself how grateful I am to have a safe roof over my head, a job that supports me and my son and allows me to put food on our table. I found myself going to my local food bank when money was tight some months and I needed assistance. I remembered how it wasn't that long ago when I was dropping off bags of canned food items to the local food bank when I lived in Connecticut. I realized I was doing the best that I could to make a new life for us. You have to get down to the very basics of life. I was thankful that I had my family and friends around me.

It's only true gratitude that you genuinely feel in your heart and soul, that helps you to appreciate everything you have and not worry about what you don't have. Material things come and go. Your marriage ends, finances change. You focus on how you are working towards a healthier and happier life.

I was happy knowing that I was in control of my own life and enjoying finding out who I am and what were my dreams and goals. I didn't fist pump into the air alone in my apartment and yell to the universe, I Did It!, but I did acknowledge every day, no matter what, that I was striving to fulfill the best version of myself. If you want to share your own personal I Did It! experience, that you feel grateful for, I want to share it on a future episode. I want your empowerment to help others realize that any moment, uncertainty, challenge or life-changing goal makes a difference.

Please visit my website, nearestanddearestpodcast. com, and you will find my email address, julie rogers@ nearestanddearestpodcast. com, where you can send me your own, I Did It! experience, directly to me. You can share your name or remain anonymous. It's your choice. I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon. Thank you for listening. The views and opinions expressed by Nearest And Dearest Podcast are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Nearest And D earest Podcast. Any content provided by Julie Rogers or any other authors are of their opinion they are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything. Thank you.