🔁 BEST OF - Gaining More Patience

No one ever said life is easy, but I believe by giving yourself permission, you will find you have more control over your life than you realize. I'm Julie, I hope you will join me by taking responsibility for yourself, by only controlling the things you can and letting go of the things that you can't. By doing this, you will have discovered the secret to having happy, healthy and more fulfilling relationships. This is Nearest and Dearest Podcast. I'm Julie Rogers and you are listening to Season 2, Episode 1, Gaining More Patience. Welcome back, I've missed you. It's been over three months since I moved down to Puerto Rico for the winters with Woody and let me tell you it has been a roller coaster ride.

You know the old saying patience is a virtue, but there is more to it than that. Alasderr McIntyre, a philosopher, once said patience is the virtue of waiting attentively, without complaint. There is a difference that can help you whenever you find yourself feeling mad or being grumpy about mostly dealing with normal everyday life experiences that you have limited control over. The difference is first accepting that you only have limited control and then realizing that you decide how you will manage your own reactions to those interactions life throws at you, no matter how you deal with these nuisances or inconveniences. It's your temperament that will cause you to feel miserable and unpleasantness, if you allow it to. Remember being a kid in elementary school and the teacher would tell everyone to line up at the door, one at a time, in an orderly fashion, and wait until the teacher tells you to walk, not run, to recess. You had to learn patience. When you reached outside, you finally got the freedom to run around until it was time to come back inside. Somewhere along the way,

as adults, trying to keep patience can be a struggle. You can explain your lack of patience with many valid points. However, figuring out what pushes your buttons to the extreme, that causes you to take the offending situation, and letting it consume your own patience, will definitely help you gain new found knowledge. Of course, kids show signs of not being patient they're kids after all but usually their parents, teachers or coaches are reminding them to keep patience in check. Adults don't always have reminders and it's easier to complain, justify and rant about how unfair whatever is happening at any given time. For myself, when I take that breath and I acknowledge the uncontrollable circumstances that I'm dealing with while they are happening, it helps me feel so much better.

I can't control long lines, full parking lots, crappy customer service, aggressive drivers, canceled flights, when my favorite ice cream can't be found in any grocery store freezers. Here's my disclosure about that. It's Friendly's Fudge Swirl or anything else that happens when I interact with everyday situations. Life has its own pace. It doesn't always line up with yours.

The alternative getting mad, defensive, being rude to others, not only shows an unflattering side of your personality. It also isn't good for your own well-being. No one benefits from being mad, angry or annoyed. It can escalate to ruining your whole day. It takes practice to accomplish the ability to step back and specifically make that choice, to not let their circumstances alter your mood, ego or your demeanor. It's amazing how much better I feel when I can do that. So why not give yourself a pass by not letting it consume you with negative vibes? The end result will be a more tolerable experience. Don't let it fester. Realize that moment of frustration is just that, a moment. It doesn't define your next moment or how the rest of your day or night is going to go. I know it isn't always an easy skill set, but the more you become aware of how you perceive your own everyday occurrences and accept the reality that the world doesn't evolve around just you, you will be able to view those same everyday activities with a more positive, accepting and gracious mindset. I learned quickly that island time is a real thing, not just the phrase used to describe an easy going, live in the moment attitude with hammocks, flip flops, cocktails and hitting the beach kind of vibes. It also means some things move a little more slowly down here in paradise.

Puerto Rico is 100 miles long and 35 miles wide. It packs a lot of scenery, culture and amazing people. Our home is in Ceiba, which is on the northeast coast of the island, bordering the Atlantic Ocean. When I bought appliances for our condo, we went through Costco. Back in the States, you don't really think too much about buying what you need. As long as it's in stock, you should be able to get it either shipped directly to your home or an option of picking it up at the store. It's not that simple in Puerto Rico. You are more limited to the stocked items that can be shipped to Puerto Rico.

So for our appliances, the logistics were challenging. We were fortunate that our shipping costs were pretty reasonable, which included bringing in the items, setting them up and hauling away the old ones. The downside was a much more limited selection to choose from. You can use a third party to order something that doesn't ship directly to Puerto Rico, but that cost can sometimes be even more than what the cost of the purchase is. So we worked with the best options we had and focused on a reasonable budget.

When it was time to shop for furniture, we probably checked out almost every local store, from Fajardo to San Juan. We decided on Rooms To Go and Berrios, which is part of Ashley Furniture. We chose items that were stocked, not special ordered. Between figuring out how to order online for our appliances at Costco and shopping at Berrios and Rooms To Go, we had to keep our patience in check.

The challenge was getting the delivery instructions to be communicated properly. Because we live in a gated, secured complex, there are rules for delivery times. The language barrier was the struggle. I remember telling Woody and myself we have to have more patience. I talked to many customer service people, not only in Puerto Rico, but someone in California who was finally able to understand exactly what we were trying to convey. The issue was getting a timeline that would work with the rules of the condo complex. Deliveries are only from 8 to 4 Monday through Friday and 8 to noon on Saturdays. Finally, it all came together. Once we learned how deliveries worked, it got a lot easier for us to navigate through it. It was a learning curve.

Puerto Rico doesn't have the best electric grid. In 2017, hurricane Maria devastated it. It took almost an entire year for the island to restore power to all of the customers who lost it during that hurricane, which marked it the longest blackout in US history. Our friends advised us to get a generator, so we did. We knew this going into our decision making when considering to buy in Puerto Rico. We decided the positives with living in a tropical environment was worth the risk. Even in the southern states like the Carolinas and Florida, hurricane season is a real threat.

We have learned to go with the flow. We have moved into our condo after working hard to make it our second home. Along the way, we have made some new friends and we are truly grateful for them. We took some downtime and got to sail with Kim and Dick for Christmas in St Thomas. We enjoyed Old San Juan with new friends Kathryn and Trey for New Year's Eve, a young couple who are living on their sailboat. We visited another couple who we met, LuAnne and Rusty. They have been living here for over 20 years in a rainforest. We got to know a real pirate, Wayne, well, he has the pirate spirit, who loves adventures and sailing, and was gracious to sell us some bedroom furniture. We are hoping to connect again with Paige and Steve, another sailing couple, and we just met Lu and Allen. They're a couple who are sailing as Captain and First Mate taking charters around the BVIs.

Living in Puerto Rico for the last three months has taught me how to be more patient, by waiting attentively, paying attention to those things I can't control or change, knowing the wait will pay off when it's ready to, and by not complaining. If I find myself starting to be negative, I am trying to be aware that my complaints will really only hurt myself and those around me and no good comes from that misery. For this realization, I have found I am contributing to living an even more balanced island-themed life. I told you in my last episode, before taking a break between season one and two, that I will be creating a bonus series in addition to my regular episodes. This bonus series is so very close to my heart. It will be called Carleton Island's Past and Present. It will be under Nearest and Dearest Podcast, with that title and subtitle for what that specific episode is about.

I have started my research on the history of Carleton Island. I read the book The Old Fort Carleton Island in the Revolution by James H Durham, published in 1889. I also was able to purchase an original, second edition, revised and corrected book called A Souvenir of the Thousand Islands of the St Lawrence River, from Kingston and Cape Vincent to Mooristown and Brockville, edited and published by JNO Haddock of Watertown, New York, in the year 1896. I will be reading this one next.

I want to share with you an excerpt of a poem that I saw, that's in that second book. It's written by George C Bragdon, called The Happy Islands. Ah, here they are, the river here, swift, slow, tumultuous, crystal clear, lapping the islands which up rear their rocky heads with crests of trees, has sure enchantments to release the heart and change its pain to peace. I'm not quite sure when he wrote that poem, but from what I have found by googling his name is that his family helped the Underground Railroad.

He was born April 29, 1832 at Chestnut Hill, a well-known station on the Underground Railroad near Lake Ontario in Richland, New York. He was a newspaper man and edited a succession of newspapers across upstate New York before he and his family settled in Rochester in 1884. If you ever get a chance to visit the Thousand Islands, which are a group of more than 1,800 islands in the St Lawrence River, located along the peaceful border between Northern New York State and Southeastern Ontario, Canada, you will begin to understand how special this region is. In my humble opinion, the best time to visit is the summer, which, specifically for me, is the nearest and dearest to my heart. The views and opinions expressed by Nearest And Dearest Podcast are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Nearest And Dearest Podcast. Any content provided by Julie Rogers or any other authors are of their opinion. They are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything. Thank you.