Striving Towards A Life Worth Remembrance

No one ever said life is easy, but I believe by giving yourself permission, you will find you have more control over your life than you realize. I'm Julie. I hope you will join me by taking responsibility for yourself, by only controlling the things you can and letting go of the things that you can't. By doing this, you will have discovered the secret to having happy, healthy and more fulfilling relationships. This is Nearest and Dearest Podcast. I'm Julie Rogers and you are listening to Season 2, Episode 13, Striving Towards a Life Worth Remembrance. This is my 50th episode since October of 2021.

Reflecting back over two years ago when I decided to start this podcast, I feel grateful for all that I have learned and will continue to challenge myself going forward with the next 50 episodes. I can't thank you enough for sticking around. You know that time doesn't stand still the older I get, the faster it moves. Do you remember when you were a kid and you couldn't wait to get older? Either you were too young to drive or go to that rated R movie without an adult. The school year seemed to last forever, and summer couldn't come quick enough. You wanted to be older to do all the things that you were told you couldn't do until you became an adult. It was part of the innocence of being a kid. Now, seeing my grandkids getting older 16, 14, 12 and 10, it really puts the reality into perspective that they are growing up. Remembering them from their births and seeing the changes through the years especially when I look at the photos, it's a combination of pride and love. I'm blessed that I'm still here to witness all of these memories while making new ones. I can't help but wonder if I still will be here to see possible great grandchildren. It's all part of living a life full of family, friends, adventures and soaking up all those special times that forever leave a mark on your heart. I am very sentimental when it comes to going through family photos, just ask anybody in my family how sometimes that gets emotional for me. When my sister-in-law, Tracey, was visiting from Maine recently, I pulled out old family photos from the Rogers side. It was nice to hear her and Woody talk about their parents and the wonderful family memories they all shared. It's a chance for me to have a glimpse into who they were. Especially after losing a loved one, talking about them, sharing the funny stories, even the hardships that were challenging, can keep us connected to them always.

I just finished a small project with Woody, which involved turning an old-lane cedar chest into a cushion seat for our guest bedroom. We bought the chest about four years ago. We love to find something old and refurbish it. My sister, JoJo, was very talented with reupholstering seats or any projects that added a flair to her creativity. As long as she had a vision, spray paint, scissors and a heavy-duty staple gun, she could make something that was once ready for the trash into a beautiful treasure. I always admired that about her. She had helped me before with a couple of built-in benches for my daughter Ashley's home.

I put this project on the back burner for a long time. Now I was ready to commit to it with Woody's help. Remembering JoJo's talent, I channeled her throughout the whole project. Originally she was going to help me finish the cushion seat together. The timing didn't work out, especially as her health was starting to decline. I wanted to honor my sissy by finally completing it. Instead of feeling sad and regretful with the fact that JoJo wasn't actually here with me working together, I used my mindset to remember her specifically and respect her talent. Now that it's done, I can go into my guest bedroom, look at the cushioned cedar chest and smile. It's a small way that I created for myself to always remember her. Of course, you don't need a physical item to transcend your mind intentionally to someone you love and miss, but isn't it splendid to have a heartfelt connection to an object that instantly gives you a feeling of true, unconditional love?

Remembrance doesn't just involve recalling loved ones who have passed or remembering your kids and grandkids when they were young. It also includes taking a recap about where you are with your own life pursuits. The hardest life struggles that you are confronted with at that very time that it is happening can make you feel that there are no easy answers. That's true, but you have to purposely look at the success of an accomplishment, visualizing it in your mind even before you take your own actions, realizing that along the way there could be difficulties, challenges, barriers and people who stand in your way. You know them the naysayers. Any or all of these are going to be right in front of you.

Throughout my own life journey, it's been when the most difficult life struggles that I have dealt with that have given me the strength to overcome them. I use remembrance as a reminder that reflecting back on those hardships helps me to see that I have survived that particular hurdle. It always comes back to my own mindset and mental well-being. I choose to have a growth mindset, which means I know I can change over time and I am open to more reflection, learning and growing from my challenges. In comparison, a fixed mindset can be hard to find. Motivation to work through your own perceived weaknesses because the ability to change may seem hopeless. You own the key to your own success. Once you understand this, motivation will start flowing your way.

Deciding to end my first marriage was absolutely the most difficult life struggle I have been through. I couldn't predict every step I was going to make. It was not only emotionally and financially challenging, but also, above all the unknowing of what my life was going to look like, it was mind-freeing. It was the beginning of expanding my awareness of an open mindset and letting go of more of my fixed mindset ways which holds me back from achieving my true inner happiness with my own life.

Your open mindset strength comes with practice. Think of it like this, if you start a new habit like physical exercise, just by doing a little bit more than the day or week before, you will start feeling like you have more strength. Your open mindset strength is the same way. The more you practice choosing an open mindset, allowing yourself to gain more strength with positive outlooks, versus allowing your own mindset to be fixed on negative outlooks and feeling that nothing ever will change, little by little you will notice that more positive experiences are happening. That's inner awareness. Even on those difficult and trying times, focus on the choices that will keep leading you to accomplishing that goal, no matter how big or small that outcome becomes a win for you. There is no such thing as a small victory. Show gratitude and have patience with yourself when you are navigating through all your efforts.

Remembrance also goes hand in hand with honoring our veterans, whether it's Veterans Day, Memorial Day or Independence Day. Recently, I realized that the United States will be commemorating our 250th anniversary on July 4, 2026. I remember the bicentennial celebration in 1976. I was just 10 years old. It was a patriotic feeling that has stayed with me. Because my parents were actively involved in our local American Legion, my memories include marching in parades dressed in a crisp white button-down blouse, a navy blue skirt, white gloves and white canvas sneakers. I marched along with my two sisters and our mom. One year I was Poppy Queen. There still is a newspaper photo of me around 1972 that is in a shadow box in the Brownvil le Legion. These memories are close to my heart. I have my parents to thank for instilling a sense of pride and respect for our veterans.

Celebrating this major milestone will be an opportunity to pause and reflect on our nation's past. It will be a chance to honor the contributions of all Americans, not only the names of our forefathers who signed the Declaration of Independence. I want to remember the history that our country has had to fight for to gain our freedoms, even though freedom comes at a cost. Our future generations need to learn the tragedies and injustices of our past in order to not allow such horrors to ever happen again. You can't change your past, neither can our country's past history ever be changed, but what both can do is be better. The minute you stop believing that, is the very minute you won't try making better choices. Direction, mindset and love will guide you towards a more meaningful, selfless life. I believe by creating meaning in yourself first and then striving to keep challenging yourself to connect within your communities, you will ultimately live a life worth remembrance.

If you are interested in sharing your story about your history and your hopes and dreams or the future of America, you should check out america250.org. You can be part of telling your reflections on our past, present and future. This organization, led by Chairwoman Rosie Rios of the US Semiquincentennial Commission, America 250, wants to hear from you. Your story will be shared along with fellow Americans through social media and videos to create the most inclusive commemoration in our history. No story is too small. I'll share a hyperlink on my show notes. You can find it on nearestanddearestpodcast. com or anywhere else you listen to podcasts. I think this is a unique opportunity for all Americans to show our diversity. Who knows, maybe you will inspire someone else. The views and opinions expressed by nearestanddearestpodcast are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of nearestanddearestpodcast. Any content provided by Julie Rogers or any other authors are of their opinion. They are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything. Thank you.